Lizard Hunting 101

August 8, 2006 - Tuesday
Lizard Hunting 101
Current mood: rushed



What started out as a typical night at home turned into two grown bitches and one fearless five year old on a wild lizard hunt in our dining room and kitchen.

Jenah and I are getting dinner stuff ready, Gracelyns outside playing Polly Pockets when all the sudden I see something move out of the corner of my eye. I look again and before I can even say anything I turn into some babbling mute. There I stand jumping around like I won the friggin lottery shaking Jenahs arm AHhhh UUHHH!!! AHHHH!!! OMG OMG!!! AHHHH! All the while shes standing there shaking her legs mimicking my glorious lil jingle. aAAAAAHHH! Whhhaaa AHH WHAT!! WHAT!!!
About this time GMC comes running in, What is it Mom?? I look, It's a effing lizard. And not even a whole one at that. So the lil half tailed creature finds its way into the wine cage. GMC is down there trying her hardest to get Charlie ( oh yes, he now has a name) out of the self made jail. Finally, we get him out and you think it was that easy? HELL NO. The little fucker crawls under the refrigerator. So, now you know what has to happen. Yep! You guessed it! Out comes the broom and the step stool because heaven forbid it crawls across our feet.
After the refrigerator gets a twist, turn and shove... no Charlie in sight. Why you ask? Yep, again, escapes the wrath of the two of us. GMC is crying because Charlie has disappeared. Im trying to calm her down and Jenahs still playing Rambo with a broom.

After too many heebee jeebees I decide to get in on some lizard hunting myself. Into the laundry room I go. Broom in one hand as I climb on TOP of the dryer. Yes on top, digging behind the dryer like its gallon of rocky road ice cream during a monthly cycle.

Alas, Charlie is found! Slam the broom against the back of the dryer. Out the front he comes! There's Jenah, flower pot in hand and she smashes it against the wall OHHH Shit! I think I smashed him in half! ( hahahaha!! Ewwwww this is gonna be gross!)

Slowing pulling the flower pot (that now seems to be a double for a lizard casket) away from the wall, I hand her the dust pan so if the damn thing IS alive hes not getting away this time!

YES!!! Mission complete!

Out the door lil Charlie goes.

Everyone is happy. Gracelyn goes back out to play and the ding dong duo stand there, hearts in hand, still getting the willies saying eww eww!!! Ahhh grossss!


By the way,
Did you say you wanted to come for dinner?