Reflecting

I am having a case of the 'lonelies' today, I think.
Honestly, since my Grandma passed nothing has been the same.
I got married to someone I didn't love, but I was blessed with someone I love more than life itself. I know I am a strong person, make fairly good choices for myself and GMC but something always seems to be missing. It's not friendships, relationships or anything like that.
It's that unconditional love and support that my grandmother gave me.
Some days it's so necessary to hear and know that I am doing a good job, that someone is proud of me and will continue to give me that love, support and guidance that I need no matter how old I get. She was everything to me. I used to think I was missing my purpose or maybe it was religion or belief based (the reason for me feeling empty inside) but it's not, it's her.
She's gone and nobody will ever be able to replace that part of my heart and soul that is gone. Some days are harder than others but the one thing that keeps me going is knowing what a beautiful bond we had and maybe one day GMC will feel about me the way I do for my Grandma.