ignore her, she'll go away

Tuesday, October, 13, 2014

Today wasn't unlike any other other day, really. I suppose the reality is far more harsh than others.

After receiving the news yesterday my physical therapy had come to a stand still until my vision and or balance improved, I think the tones for the week  had been set. Today was my third trip to my new chiropractor,  while I think he is knowledgeable and could help me a lot it just isn't feasible for me to receive the treatment I need. Three times a week, driving myself, copays, that's a lot to ask of me right now. I took the paperwork home to mull it over, if anything to entertain the idea of  being well and thoughts of possibility going back to a job one day.

Nothing in my life seems very fulfilling these days. I have no schedule, because I can't leave the house, and when I "get" to it seems like it's for the store to get prescriptions or another appointment,  and as grand as it sounds... it's really not.

Having your family tell you how horrible you look, how thin you are doesn't do anything positive, even when 100 other people say you're doing so great!
Well, shit, I guess what's what happens when you spend the last 5 months on drugs, keeping crazy hours of sleep, not eating,  and not leaving the house much.   Oh, no, that's me! I'm the one I was decribing. They have no idea  their words alone cause more damage than they are worth.

There doesn't seem to be an end to this injury. I am barely hanging on. I'm not as strong as I used to be, because I've been to busy fighting for everbody else for so long.
I can't keep asking and being pushed away.
I just won't ask anymore.