TBI recovery

I go back and forth with my ability to stand social media these days. 
Some days it’s just too much.  I get angry with my friends when I see their opinions!  How sad is that?!
We are supposed to support each other, and it’s okay to see things differently.

My brain isn’t what it used to be.  Not sure if it ever will be.  With May being #mentalhealthmonth I thought I’d bring it in with some truthful moments I had with myself in regard to my TBI.

 I wasn’t always the kind of person who had an upbeat outlook and sunny disposition.  It took my many, many years to love who I was, where I came from, and to realize I was judging myself more than those around me.  Building confidence didn’t happen overnight, but I am so very grateful to all strong friends along the way who help define who I became. 
A few years ago that confidence was torn from me as a result of a traumatic brain injury.  There were many changes in me that I didn’t notice but you can bet those near and dear to me sure did. The usual happy-go-lucky fun gal was now full of conflict and argumentative. Everything has to be a discussion, or done my way. So much anxiety!  I need more time to do things, to process information, and I get tired easily, too.  Maybe that’s old age J
One of the biggest challenges I am learning to adapt to is change, of any kind.  It could be something as simple as plans for the evening to a life-altering event.  For me, there is no difference. Unfortunately, I panic and I turn everything into a mess leaving the people involved wondering if I am on drugs, or if I need to be. 
I remember with this all happened, I kept saying I wonder when the girl I used to know is coming back.  I’d cry because I didn’t feel like myself, and yet I’d look in the mirror…there I was staring back feeling empty inside.
Today, I am feeling more like myself than ever but I am learning those who are close to me are still seeing something very different than I am.   I am trying.  I am. 
This new me has different needs than the old one, if you knew me before I need help. 
Every part of my life has been impacted from memory, social skills, ability to retain information, patience, I can go on. 

I know a few of you have taken my distance or my lack of friendliness personal, I am sorry. 
I am sorry to those I hurt while trying to repair myself. 

Keeping a strong mental health outlook has always been a front-runner with me.  I can honestly say I never knew depression until 2014, and it’s something I wish on no one.

Wishing you all enough.  Be kind to yourself <3 nbsp="" span="">