I don't belong here

Since I was a young girl I've been lied to.

I didn't always know this of course. This is something I came to realize over the years and it almost came in stages.  Perhaps it was me being naive.

I wrote a blog several years back 'Why People Lie'.  Today I sit here remembering all those feelings I had that day. Much different than today, maybe it is that I have grown up or simply grown tired.

When you ask someone a direct question often times you already know the answer.  You want them to be honest with you.  When they aren't it is so hard to look at them the same.  When it's backed with an attitude, or when they become defensive I  feel in the wrong for bringing it up.  If I felt in my heart I already knew, what difference would it have made what they said?  The disappointment is already there.  Now it's even more so because it's backed with a lie.

My family has lied to me about countless things. Relationships have been full of lies. 

When the dust settles and I am able to talk the same feedback is relayed they didn't want to disappoint me. 

I can't imagine anything more disappointing and hurtful than being lied to.



I don't want to live in a place where people hide things from me to 'protect' me, to keep me from knowing things that might hurt my feelings, from anything...period. 

If anyone needs to lie to me about anything, they are probably doing things they are ashamed of, or embarrassed about and shouldn't be involved with or doing in the first place.


Living life through rose-colored glasses can only take you so far. One day the stories start to sound 'funny' and when you ask questions, you're the crazy one. 


You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.