September is my least favorite month.

When I was a child September meant school was starting. I, like many other children loathe the thought of summer ending and school begins.

Now that I'm older September holds a different feeling for me. It is the month my life honestly changed forever. My Grandma was called to heaven. I tell myself every year...don't worry, next year it will get easier, and some days it does but as the days move closer to the anniversary of her death I find myself withdrawing from daily activities and looking for that safe and alone comfort place.

When she died I felt the only person who had ever protected me is gone. Now what? Who is going to make sure I'm okay? Who is going to tell me everything will be alright?

I had GMC almost two years after my grandma passed and I feel like I have a piece of her living inside me helping me protect my daughter like she had always done for me. The strangest thing is when I hear Gracelyn say something if do something I could swear my grandma was behind. It is comforting to witness her presence in my life especially when I am missing her so much.

Tonight I'm praying for strength to get me through the next two weeks because they are by far the toughest.  I miss her more on the hard days but I know she's right there guiding me toward a better day.