The last six months have been extremely hard on me, and hard on those who are close to me. I felt like I was supportive in the ways I was supposed to be, and believed my support would be returned on the same volume. But some how I did something to change everything and now eveything I'd been hoping would happen for five years just ended and I never saw it coming. I still don't know what to do or how to believe it's not just a break. He really wants nothing to do with me. I'm trying to find a word that is bigger and deeper and heart break, it's pain, and just emptiness.
To add, I've got to pull it together enough to get myself to these doctor appointments. Most of these appointments I can't remember what happened yesterday much less in May, so guess who goes with? Ugh it's so comforting to have him there, and relaxing but as soon as he's gone I am a mess all over again.
I have a meal request out asking friends to bring us food a couple times a week, but I dont know why. I barely eat as it is. I am terribly sad, I feel distressed, confused, and honestly I don't feel like I was given an explaination as to why this happened.
I am a great woman, I may have things about me that make someone feel uncomfortable but I wouldn't know unless I was told.
And, He has issues, as ALL of us do, but I love him more than all of all the shoes, kitties, and pretty dresses in the world.
Don't be scared, just try.
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